Sprinkles
by Mollie
Summary: What if instead of Oz visting Willow on graduation part one it was Xander? EDITED! NEW CHAPTER ON ITS WAY! March 7th, 2006


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A note from your author**: When I wrote sprinkles I was twelve years old, and it was 2003. I am proud to say this was my very first fanfiction, and it toyed with one of my most adored Buffy relationships. Now that I am a little older, and a little wiser I have decided to continue this long lost story hidden at the bottom of my mind. I would suggest reading the new version of this chapter which has the point of view transitions smoother and a bit better wording due to my heightened knowledge. (Yeah sureeee) 

A special _thanks_ to all of my reviewers from both my original 2003 version and the 2044 version. Sorry it took so long guys.

Title: Sprinkles

Rating: PG-13 for some language and implied sexual situations

Spoilers: Season three stuff mainly up to the muddle of graduation day part one

Author: Mollie (a.k.a. Mollie)

Summary: I am sure everyone here remembers the scene in graduation day part one when Willow and oz, lets say consummate "their love"  
well, I was sort of wondering what would have happened if Willow had been researching with Xander. Basically in my mind what should have happened, not that I don't like Oz or anything…

My heart isn't supposed to go pitter patter when I see him.. Not any more at least. Though contrary to what my brain tells me to do my heart still wanders off to the man I have loved since I can remember, curse my stupid heart. He is here, at my door, knocking,  
he didn't use to knock.

When I was ten I gave him a key to my room, and told him he was always welcome. He came every night that year, we would stay up late talking about school, and girls, and boys, only the boys usually ended up being our fifth grade science teacher variety. It stopped though once we fell asleep and mom woke us up screaming. I didn't understand why she was so mad, we had had sleepovers before, granted in kindergarten, but still.

I open the door, he is smiling in his Xander way, the same smile that made my knees melt. Correction, makes my knees melt.

"I come baring gifts" He says bowing down to me, I laugh. The box of doughnuts is placed in front of me, doughnuts are his favorites. When we were younger it was the jelly filled doughnuts that were his favorite, they were his "Willow treats" because he only got them when he was with me, which was all of the time. Now, he likes the ones with the _Sprinkles_, my favorites too.

"So, how is the old research thing going?" He asks in all seriousness. His eyes do the darkening thing, the same thing he does when he fights vampires, or sees Angel.

"What do you think?" I answer, looking back at the heaping pile of books, all useless.

"Well, I figured. So I came to help, be your knight in shining armor?" He puts on a false happy face, it is the same one he used the that day I chose Oz over him, the same face he used when I woke up in the hospital, and called out Oz's name, the same face he uses every time he sees me, at least every time he's seen me after the fluke.

"Well, thank you I really could use one of those" I reply sighing as I sit on my bed. I hand him a book. "Start looking"

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Willow, the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. She looks worried today, and I have a feeling the culprit is mister apocalypse. It's been an hour since I came here, and still of course nothing. I guess I could have stayed at the library, but any alone time with Willow has been a rare thing, ever since fluke-o-ramma reared its ugly head. But this silence Willow and I share seems to be the most understanding thing I have experienced in a while. It feels real right now, real with My Willow, my best friend.

And the Woman I love.

"Love?"

I ponder the thought for a moment. I had always loved Willow… but when had loving Willow felt so… different? So uncomfortable, but perfect?

At this moment I can feel a sudden tense. The once calm and soothing silence was now gone, and I feel Willow begin to cry before it even happens.

"I wanna go to college" she blurts, throwing her book on the ground, tears stream down her face. My first thought is to go to her and hold her, comfort her, but no, Willow's body is reserved for Oz hands only. I look at her with concern but, try to laugh it off.

"Will, of course you are going to go to college! I mean with that brain!" It doesn't work, she snarls at me.

"That's not what I meant Alexander Harris and you know it." I know it must be bad, she never calls me Alexander unless she is really mega pissed at me. Her snarl dies down though and she continues to sob, now shaking uncontrollably. "I wanna, get married and have kids, I wanna see the world, and I want to become old and grey." Screw the Oz rule I sit down next to her and hold her, rubbing her back, trying to calm her down.

"Shh, Will its ok, I'm here." I say, still holding her. She is still sobbing but more quietly.

"There is so much I want to do." she says softly, she looks up at me. Her tears have stopped but, her face is still wet and streaky, but she doesn't seem to care. She puts her hand on my face, and moves her face towards me. I can't help it. I love her so much, I lean forward as well. I start to lean back coming to my senses, but she kisses me.

It is so soft and sweet, yet filled with fire, and love. She tastes like _Sprinkles_ we both love. I can't help it but, I really don't give about Oz right now, I am kissing the woman **I love.**

Love.

Real Love.

Passionate Love.

Love I felt only for her. My Willow.

I pull back at this thought, Willow is with Oz, this is terribly wrong. No matter how I feel for Willow I cannot take away what she has with him for my own selfish reason. She looks up at me, her face filled with hurt.

"Oz." I say looking at her, getting ready to turn away.

"No, Xander stay, I love you." she replies grabbing on to my arm. I freeze. I turn back to her I can't help it, I know someday I will pay for this but I don't care.

"I love you too Will" She looks at me, with a face that I have never seen before, grief, guilt, love, pain, relief, so much emotion in one face. More emotion then I have ever seen my _Sprinkles_ princess hold. She kisses me again. This time I have no feelings of holding back, no more guilt.

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Xander, I look over at him, its morning. The images of last night play back in my mind, I have no regret. It is weird to me that I have no regret. I'm Willow, I **live** off of regret. Xander has his happy-face on, his **real** happy face. The same face I used to see when he looked at me, the face I fell in love with, on the boy I was in love with. Maybe that is why I don't have regret. That face always did have magical powers.

"I feel different." I say, because it's true, I feel better, at peace. I smile holding onto him, hugging him closer. He has his Xander smell of grass and Mr. Bubble, bubble bath, old shoe polish and fruit loops. His Xander smell, his Xander smell that hasn't changed since the day I met him.

"I guess you don't cause of the faith thing." I regret saying it before I finish, Xander looks at me with horror.

"No, Wills. I feel a lot different. A lot different." His features soften and he smiles at me almost devilishly, I laugh.

The phone rings, though doesn't ruin the moment. I answer it.

It's Buffy, Angel was poisoned last night by Faith, and Oz has been looking for me.

'Oz... Shit! I forgot about him. We have to go they are going to freak. They probably are freaking by the sound of Buffy's voice, and Angel. Buffy really cared about Angel… to see him injured must be killing her.

I get up, Xander asks me what's wrong.

"It's Faith, she poisoned angel."

"What?" he asks, shocked, "Is he going to be ok?"

"I don't know.. All I know Xander.. Is that Buffy needs me… and Oz… is looking for us." I finished the last bit feeling sick to my stomach. I guess the absence of regret was just temporary.

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More to come very soon sorry it has to end. And sorry for the two year wait! 


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